Tired and messy

So for a while I have been dreaming about a blog post that will be whimsical and fun, but I’m just not there. Recently I made myself tell someone I was a mess. They laughed. I said, “No, really, I’m a mess. And it’s good for me to tell you that, and Jesus loves messes.” 

Tonight for some reason Lucy wouldn’t stop barking. She never barks…seriously. So I was trying to figure out what in the world was going on. Of course this happened at the end of a long day, at 10:30 pm, after a full past 4 days, when I was exhausted. I took her outside. She barked and barked. The air outside is thick and humid and cold, and in case you are wondering, at 11 pm in the cold, a dog’s bark can likely be heard across the city. So I think my neighbors are really enjoying having US as neighbors. 

I finally gave Lucy an extra meal, and covered her in calming essential oils. And she’s asleep and here I am, writing. Here’s my point: I try and try to go to bed early, to get up on time, to fix breakfast and pack a lunch and eat dinner and take my dog for a walk and plan tomorrow’s lessons, and I keep falling short. I look around at others who seem to have all their ducks consistently in a row…like never a single one out of place…and I wonder HOW?! So that’s all.

I’m thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who loves me even in my hectic mess, who gives me breaks, who cares intimately for my needs. I’m thankful for my crazy dog who really has brought so much light into my life these last few months. And I’m thankful even for her constant barking because it kept me from going to sleep early so I now have a clean kitchen and all of my laundry is folded and put away.